Desi..Pardesi?

Nothing unusual happened today. Same meetings, same routine, yet something kept flashing my memory every few hours. Are we desis embarrassed cause of other desis? Don’t get me wrong…We do take good pride being an Indian…but statements like “Darn this place is stuffed with desis…jjeeeezzzz”, “look a desi in a Porsche! Are those things getting cheaper these days?”, “Desi girls in Mardi Gras huh!?” am sure buzz in many ears every day. Of course we all came across at least one Bob [urf Babu] or Andy [urf Anand Swami].

Now crossing the line and from the other side, we also frequently hear statements like “Did you hear? One of Google’s VCs is a desi”, “Hey Desis are damn good in keeping relationships & family values unlike these goras” or “Do you know, the most successful immigrants in US are desis” (and if the listener is aware of the stats) quickly add “…ya ya I meant Asians!”

Here is the incident that triggered this thought in me and reminded me of something that my ammamma (grandma) once said during her trip to US.

8.30 AM: gulping down some hot caffeine, I walked into a room full of people. Some yawning hellos greeted me while I settled down in a corner next to Mr.Desi. Many new faces I thought, and with an enthusiastic smile introduced myself to the fellow desi. “Hi, how are ya…Vamsee here”, I said extending my hand. With least interest possible and a fake smile, “ya hi, I work out of Seattle office as a programmer”, was his response shaking my hand holding just the tip of my fingers as if I were “the untouchable”. The meeting started and John, my boss introduced me to the team as their new Product Manager and handed over the next 30 minutes for me to yap. Now that I am facing the team, I could see each one of their (sleepy) faces clearly …My eyes kept moving from face to face and couldn’t help but capture the “Desi- manager-and-that too- a girl” look from the only fellow desi in the room. At the end of the meeting, I shook hands with the rest of the team and there he was, waiting to shake hands (again), and this time with a good big smile on his face.

I hopped from one meeting to another the whole day but a wise yet simply said statement by ammamma kept ringing in my ears. “Goras look at us with respect for our culture and we desis call them cultureless yet try to fit into their”culture” ” (translated summary)

Is it our “trying to fit-in” attitude or is it just that we are so naïve not to treat another Indian with the same respect we shower over fairer skins? Also, how can we be judgmental about other immigrants in this country? Oh please, don’t give me that “When in Rome…”

Eg-chak-tly, Let’s zoom out for a minute and the real question is, “when can one ‘individual’ look at another ‘individual’ just as an ‘individual’?”